


Alice died at the Rose Garden

by ijouno



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Anteiku Raid, Gen, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 17:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4843496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijouno/pseuds/ijouno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't supposed to end this way. Why did he have to watch the life fade from those eyes along with all the answers he searched for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice died at the Rose Garden

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in the middle of the night a few months ago, so I decided to post it.  
> (My tired brain can't beta my writing at all _and can't choose an awesome title either_ )

_"...help..."_  
His voice had never felt so small and desperate since he lost Harima and since those long sleepless nights mourning his mentor. It throbbed deep in the core of his chest with a icy dread. He had called for help, but his request wasn't for himself but for the worn down and bloodied body tightly clutched in his arms.  
_Eyepatch._  
The ghoul's cries and wails had gone silent a few breaths earlier and Amon feared what it might mean.  
His _reaper_ was still alive, Amon could feel the thrum of his heart against his fingertips, but the grave wound he dealt on him might be the end of him. Blood still flowed through the dove's fingers that struggled to keep the ghoul in _one piece_ and the red liquid seeped through Arata's armor, warming his skin. He almost retched.  
"Amon-san! What are you waiting for?!"  
Ah, yes... His partners where now approaching the crime scene with more assurance, howling pleads to finish off Centipede.  
_But he couldn't._  
Not when he felt Eyepatch slowly slip away, alongside the truth he had searched for years. To hell the Double-Wing Award, he would never be able to live with an innocent's death, ghoul or not, on his mind.  
He shakily pressed the button of his radio and his colleagues stared down at him like he was a madman.  
_Perhaps he was..._  
"This is First Rank Amon Koutarou, I request a medical team to be dispatched immediately... with the Ghoul Containment Unit.  
The answer crackled in his earpiece and Amon could only grip the frail body tighter in his arms. He didn't dare to look down upon the ghoul that had shaken his world. Seeing him so broken when he had tried to always appear so strong felt like a sin.  
Approaching engines purred though the rain and the dove struggled to get on his feet without jostling the barely breathing body in his embrace. The other investigators parted to let him pass like a macabre procession.  
It was Chigyou who greeted him with an ever growing smile as he drank in the sight of who laid in Amon's arms. Behind him was an armada of medics and stern officers, all looking shocked at the scene. Disgust crept into their expressions.  
"You let him live...", exclaimed the scientist in an amazed breathy gasp. His hands hovered above Eyepatch, as if afraid to touch a sacred treasure. Amon could see excitement shine in the eyes under his fringe. "I didn't know you had that in you. Medics for the ghoul, please."  
They transfered Eyepatch onto a gurney with great difficulty keeping the gaping wound close and Amon finally looked at his _reaper_ , transfixed, when they pulled his mask down to place the oxygen mask on his face.  
He looked too young and worn out by pain. And even if he looked sickly pale and gaunt, Amon could recognize the ghost of a once cheerful face that smiled at him multiple time from classified document: the unfortunate protagonist... _Alice._  
He knew the truth: Eyepatch had once been human and fought with all his might to keep his humanity... But it didn't answer why he had been spared as a child and why he outlived all of his friends.  
The one who could have been his messiah was a simple red herring.  
He felt empty as he watched Eyepatch been taken away while he was ushered in a second medical van for precautions, away from a creature that was once a human.  
He hadn't noticed how much his hands tremored...

 _No news._  
Amon hadn't expected to have access to a case as classified as Centipede's. But the silence sent an icy lump of dread down his stomach. But no matter how terrible he felt, he still had the strength to sit quietly on his quite uncomfortable chair, listening sullenly to long winded speech on the pew before the entire CCG.  
It was a ceremony in the memory of their fallen colleagues in the streets of the 20th Ward: Takizawa Seidou, Yukinori Shinohara... -It must be torture for Juuzou to attend such an event. Amon had barely seen him the last few days.-  
It was also a moment to reward the efforts of those who risked their lives and survived. Their exploits where chanted after being named, with long flourishes and fancy words. The named few would meet up with Washuu at the front, receive their honors, exhaustion pulling at their traits, but eyes shining with pride. They smiled brightly and genuinely as a photographer snatched a picture of the moment.  
He thought about letting himself slip into his hazy thoughts, but Washuu's voice resounded.  
"First Class, Amon Koutarou! For his resilience and courage against the notorious SS-rated Centipede. He faced the kakuja on his own, stopping its advance to Owl and saving the mission from utter catastrophe, indirectly saving countless of his comrades' lives."  
The age-ridden man lift his eyes from his script, landing his gaze on Amon's towering silhouette.  
"First Class Amon Koutarou. Please come forward."  
Spurred by his neighbors' nudges, he finally stood up, his numb legs barely holding him up. It was a miracle he could even walk to the pew.  
_It could mean anything. My deeds saved countless lives, whether or not Eyepatch has been dispatched. And the CCG would not get rid of him. Eyepatch's status is unique, his past humanity and what remained of it, would guarantee his survival..._  
Through his hectic thoughts, rang out Washuu's voice. The man pinned something on his lapel  
His hopes shattered; right there, on his chest, shone an innocent silver brooch with a azure center. Two elegant dove wings spanned on each side.  
"It is with great pride that the Commission of Counter Ghoul awards you with the Double White Winged Award for the suppression of the SS-rated Centipede."  
An arm spun him around, to face the now cheering attendees. Over their cheers Amon heard the clicking of a camera forever immortalizing the horror etched on his face. 

\--

"Tea?"  
"...thanks."  
The defiant tone that usually inhabited Akira's voice was gone, his voice strained by sorrow and fatigue. She lost a colleague and a classmate, even though the tension was taut between her Takizawa, she couldn't deny that his loss did not affect her. The little clique Amon had grouped for after-hours outings was down to two again, and he wasn't ready to let people in again, not while his footing has never been this unsecure. Even though Eyepatch might not have been the answer for the questions that plagued him since childhood, but he might be an important piece of the puzzling mystery that surrounded Kanou, the possible spark that stoked the fires of the war.  
But it was too late. Eyepatch was gone, processed through their labs and his unrecognizable remains sold to Sphinx...  
"Amon?"  
Amon hurryingly pulled the whistling kettle off the stove, hissing as the vapor scorched his arm along the way.  
_Would his grief ever end?_

\---

"Here you are! Not too dishevelled by your legions of fans" chided Chigyou as Amon entered the lobby of the CCG Laboratory Division. He was surprised to see the researcher come and greet him. He typically was holed up in the lab until someone reminded him he had an appointment.  
"You summoned me for the Doujima repair, isn't it?"  
Chigyou _tsked_ at him with a raised finger and a grin on his face.  
"It's a surprise! Can you guess what it is? Never mind, follow me!" he added just as Amon opened his mouth, but promptly closed it. What else than Doujima's repairment could it be?  
He was sadly unprepared for the truth.

\---

His eyes always averted from the cold, onyx quinque case laying across his lap. He couldn't look at it more than a few seconds before images of a small body flashed in his mind eye... _reddened snow-white hair, streams of blood trickling down from his lips, his one visible eye dulling like glass..._  
His knuckles cracked around the case's handle as he fought back the anguish inside him. He survived this before... he had thought his entire world crumbled when he lost Mado. But he honored his memory and he would do the same for Eyepatch, the innocent boy who suffered an unfair fate.  
_The suitcase opened with a soft click in Amon's quiet bedroom._

**Author's Note:**

> *pours salt on wounds*


End file.
